My pain has been huge recently from stress, over use of muscles and everyday living so I lost control of it for the first time in a long time and was able to get help in this way, thank God, and I can’t say enough about how much help this is.
Piano Fingers, or light stimulation in the area of injury or wherever it is that relieves your own personal pain is what you need to know about.

If you are like many people I know as well as myself you may be a pain patient and be an active person as well. It is hard to realize that we must limit our activities and in fact, we must stay as active as we can to have a full life with one eye on what is wise for us to attempt and what is just beyond out ability. It is for each of us to decide what and when is enough for us and living in that parameter is what is key for a good life. Myself, I required a med raise of a great deal recently because I had under treated my pain and become too inactive for my own good. Are you less active than you want to be because of the pain? If so, please talk to your doctor and don’t worry about the “drug seeking” label that can be thrown about by those that are ignorant of the illness that is Chronic Pain. I can’t say enough that if you suffer from Chronic Pain you deserve relief and you should continue to seek help until you find it no matter how long it takes to get a doctor to DX your own personal injury of illness that is causing your pain. My heart breaks for those that go undiagnosed still and suffer because they have not found a doctor to do an MRI or a test that needs to be done for a DX. It’s out there and it’s unfair but there are still people that are suffering without someone listening. If you read my posts you can find my own story of how hard it was to get a simple MRI of the right area in time to stop the injury that caused my Chronic Pain. I can only say that what I learned is NOT TO GIVE UP and fight your way through the medical community until you are DXed and have a proper pain management program! Please feel free to contact me as well and I will do whatever I can to help you find what you need in the way of medical care if I can help!

The shootings in my hometown here, Tucson, Arizona have hurt my heart in a great way and I find that people here are having a hard time processing their pain over what happened so they are striking out at others to ease what is really hurt over being so close to such a horrible incident. We must band together and grieve for the victims instead of dividing and taking sides in debates that will not help us really find relief. It is painful to have this sort of thing happen close to you and there is no escape from this sort of pain just as physical pain has no escape except treatment. Discuss your pain about what has happened here and find others that will talk about it to find relief and know you are in pain if you are.

I continue to pray for the victims and families that suffer after this terrible event and hope that with time the pain will be easier to live with. We must remember to stay together in times like this.

My thanks to friends who have reached out to me at this time and to those that suffer from Chronic Pain, once again I reach out to you and remind you that someone hears you and don’t stop seeking help or let your pain get you down too low!

I’m guilty of letting my pain get away from me so I know that others probably do this at times as well. Talk to your doctor honestly and I can’t say often enough that if you are not dxed, please don’t give up!
Feel free to email me or find me on Facebook!
Annalisa

I recently met a woman who had an implant that works on batteries which has an outside remote that when placed on the skin where the implant is interupts the pain signal and she tells me this has worked for her. This woman was on Fentanyl patches for six years before getting her implant and tells me she needs no other relief since having her minor surgery and using this method. I am planning on investigating this implant so I will tell you what I find out when I am through getting all the details. How nice it would be to be able to throw away all our medications? If you are like me you really feel tied to your medication and the side effects bother you greatly as well.

Speaking of side effects I had one of the most common which is a problem with my teeth and cavities, this time to the tune of just under $6000.00. The last time I had trouble because of “dry mouth” and had cavities I had an $8000.00 tab!! If you are like me and take a medication for pain you probably know the problems that come from having a dry mouth which is a side effect of taking pain medication. I have so much work in my mouth I can’t even imagine how much it is worth and this is very irritating to say the least, is it not? Dental insurance is almost impossible to get so we end up paying out of pocket for our teeth and this is really a hardship for many people! I don’t know about you but I find the cost of dental work to be outrageous and almost impossible to keep up with! I now have a battery of floride, calcium, etc… in products designed to keep my teeth from getting any cavities and also have a product to help keep my mouth more moist. This is just another problem with having Chronic Pain where you have to take medication to survive. As you know I’m not talking about pain that keeps you from moving, I’m talking about pain that keeps you from living because it is too powerful to deal with even if you are completely still. “Cancer pain,” and other comparisons are made. We who have this sort of pain can’t help but use medications but I think this implant could be interesting so far as spinal cord area pain, at least!

Still I know sweet and loving people who work very hard in their lives and love their families and friends who suffer from pain and are seen as “drug seekers” or just don’t have anything that really works well enough for them to have what one would think of as a “normal” life. One friend of mine is out of the game as many as ten days at a time because of her migraines and she has every medication one can use to control them! You ask yourself “how can this be?” “Why isn’t there something that can be done to give her a life without such interuptions that are days or even hours and hours long?” It’s just wrong and it’s why there are groups like the “American Pain Association” to challange the medical profession to do something more to help those of us with Chronic Pain.

I have a chance to see many people in pain in my life. I’m still shocked at some of the indifference that some medical workers have towards those in real and crippling pain. Some health care workers have seen so much pain that they are completely numb at times when they are busy to a person literally crying in pain. How can this be? Are we really to a point in this country that we are so wrapped up in ourselves that real and horrible pain is something we choose to ignore? The answer to this question in some cases is “yes.” Some people demand so much from a person with real pain and injuries that are real and obvious that it is heartbreaking. Asking them questions. Telling them that they are sorry that they are in pain “But” and carrying on with the task at hand and not giving any more thought to the tears running down a persons face! It’s appalling. I have seen it with my own eyes and I can’t believe it each time.

How is your pain? Are you being treated? Remember to have a voice with regard to our politics when it comes to the treatment of pain and if you are a caregiver to someone with pain remember that “there but for the grace of God go you!” Get involved! Try to sooth the person with pain and give them the attention they need or help them get the attention they need! So long as we are committed to fighting this illness we can carry on.

I had a side effect that stayed with me for years. It almost drove me crazy at times because I couldn’t solve it and thought my reality was doomed forever because I couldn’t find an answer to this side effect and I didn’t think I could live the way I was living much longer. The bottom line is that I kept fighting it. I kept asking my doctor questions and I kept trying to find a way to beat this side effect no matter how much I cried or wanted to give up. I had no choice, I was afraid to end my life and so I had to keep trying to solve this side effect that was so limiting to live with and so hard to deal with that I had almost given up on doing things in my life once again. I put a stop on all activities and found myself lying down and suffering and watching most of life go by without me.

The side effect indeed had a cure and I found it! I had no choice because I could not give up and you may know this kind of pain yourself in your life. The message here is that you can solve it! I recently solved mine and you can solve your almost impossible problem with pain as well! Ask questions. Try doctor after doctor and talk to people with similar problems. Don’t cut yourself off from people and try to keep reaching out even when it fails. Yes, I had my pain controled but I couldn’t fix a side effect that was crippling my quality of life. If you face this problem I’m here to tell you that there IS an answer and you can find it even if you revist some of the advice you have been given in the past. Ask again and again!

Still I suffer from Chronic Pain and there is no changing that fact. However my quality of life has gone up because I finally found an answer. In my case I finally asked my doctor in the right way and she understood my question and was able to answer me in a way that got through to me and that I could understand. Communicate!!

In the meantime if anyone wants to discuss options or get in touch with me I’m on Facebook and you can message me if you like. This blog sometimes does not take comments but you can find me as Annalisa Panizzon and I welcome anyone who needs to ask questions if I have an answer!

Be well everyone and a big shout out of love to my friends living with pain. I plan on posting more now that I have moved on from my own personal drama and I hope to hear from you as to how you are doing!

Love you all!

Annalisa Panizzon

The photo shows the intensity which Chronic Pain can infiltrate your life. I want to say here how much I appreciate the people who have written me who live with Chronic Pain and how much I enjoy hearing your stories as you live your life with pain and try to live it as full as possible.
There are still to many people suffering from pain with no relief and who “bear up,” despite the help that is out there for the.
There are others that cannot find help for their pain and are afraid of being labeled “drug seekers.” This is unacceptable. No one with pain that is chronic and that suffers daily should have to suffer and the more we talk about it the more help we will find. We can help each other as well by being listeners, caretakers, and partners to those that suffer and are still looking for relief.
Life with pain is, in most cases, life and pain, meaning, we live with out pain and despite our pain. We stand up to it in our own ways with the tools we have and we need more tools and less hassle as we seek help for our pain. Life should not be about your pain. Life should be lived wholey and completely no matter how big your pain and the only way to do this is to stand up and be counted and go to doctors and be HEARD! Too many of you out there are not heard from the stories I’ve been told and that breaks my heart.
Sure, we can’t do some things that we could do before but how much of life must we loose to pain?
I say we must loose as little as possible and we must not be afraid to stand up and be counted and dealt with by the medical establishment and the community in general. Make your pain known to your friends and people you meet. Don’t be afraid of being labeled or counted out because you suffer from pain. The more of you who speak up the more help and the more common it will be to honor those who suffer from pain in everyday life.
Myself, I am still actively seeking more and better life despite my pain. Recently my doctor thought I should discontinue an activity that made me happy because my pain was becoming more and more hard to manage. This brought me to a place where I had to make a decision that I know many people have to make.
The question we have to ask ourselves is how much pain relief do we take to live out lives and can we manage to do the things we love if we take enough pain relief to do them? Medication is key to Chronic Pain. How much medication do we take to treat our pain and how many side effects do we deal with to be able to function doing something we love to do? Do we raise our meds to keep doing what we love or do we quit what we love because we would need to raise our pain meds?
The answer lies in quality of life. Can we have a quality life without the activity? Can we replace the activity with another that is acceptable and that we are able to do that we can love as much? Is there a way to cut back? Or do we take more medication to make our lives the life we love? All these weigh heavy on the mind of a person in Chronic Pain. Daily they must make a decision regarding what they can accept in life and what they cannot.
Are your friends in pain? Do you know? Are you in more pain than you should be and is it affecting all of the areas of the diagram? Is it affecting your emotions? Your relationships? Your very happiness? Is it acceptable to have pain affect these parts of us?
No. We should not have to trade our happiness for pain. Relief is the only answer we should take and if you know my story you know how long it took for me to be heard and to be diagnosed by the medical community all the while endangering my life!
No, there is no reason to suffer pain that affects your very happiness.
Sometimes a person is in so much pain that an antidepressent is needed to get to the bottom of their misery! Is this acceptable? No. Still, if you need to deal with your depression in order to fight for pain relief then deal with the depression and take medication needed to bring you to a place where you can fight for yourself.
It’s exhausting to fight for pain relief when we are depressed. It’s impossible to fight for yourself when you are miserable.
If you are miserable because of Chronic Pain, speak up! Be heard and ask for help until you find it. No, the first person, or the tenth person may not hear you but someone will and help can be found. It’s a battle field out there very often for those of us with pain and we mustt fight for ourselves and each other with all that we have for we are talking about our very lives and how we live them.
What could we offer if we had pain relief? Are you doing enough for your pain to be an effective person in your world? You must be ready to take it on no matter what it is for relief is there if you look hard enough.
I am so sorry for those who are still suffering and those whose lives are completely altered because of pain. I know you are out there and I’ve been there and even go back there from time to time. I have a constant battle to fight for quality of life until there is a completel cure for Chronic Pain.
Damaged nerves are evil and we must see the pain from them as such. It hurts on so many levels that it shoiuld be on the forefront in the fight for better lives for patients!
Thank you for your letters. I feel less alone and I can do more when I hear I am not alone.
Please keep fighting for your life and NEVER say “never,” for there is a life you can get to if you try hard enough.
Please keep in touch!
Annalisa

I am a Pain patient as most who read here know but I’ve had a health problem for years since my neck accident that has kept me from living any sort of full life no matter what pain relief I had.
I’m happy to say that finally this problem of YEARS has been solved and I’m living again for the first time in YEARS. I kept this problem to myself for so very long and didn’t want to get into it out of fear and that tells you where fear will get you. I finally addressed after fearing what could happen from ignoring it and low and behold, it was solved!
I’m a new person with a chance for happiness I haven’t had in so many years it’s not funny. I feel hope, renewal and finally can walk by the flowers and smell them instead of missing them entirely.
I’m a naturally active person. I like to be on the go and I’m also an optimist so I decided that sooner or later I would, by myself, solve my medical problem and all would be well. Asking for help is not my forte’ and that is a bad thing in my life. I finally asked for help and I got it, thank God.
To feel so open and thankfull to all my friends and the members of my family who have stuck by me all this time is new to me and a great feeling.
I am thankful to everyone who didn’t give up on me having a full life and solving all my medical problems. I know it took time for me to become active again and I’m sorry that I didn’t ask for help sooner but some people stuck with me with understanding and friendship even when I have been out of the loop for so very long. Thank you and this post is for you.
It’s not easy being patient with a person who has a health problem that appears permanent. I have a few friends and a family member, my sister, who have helped me feel value even though I have been so low on energy and not able to kick it like I used to. I did have the pain relief but I didn’t have this problem solved so I was, in essence, out of the reality of life in some ways for some time.
Some stuck by me. Those people are those that don’t underestimate me and never count me out and you are not only right, you are great people and smart because I am now bouncing back at lightening speed!
Get ready for new things from me, finally.

I’d like to take this post to say “I’m new,” and “I’m well,” although I will always have my pain, I can have a life. I would also like to take this post to honor the friends that have stuck by me when I have been not even half of myself and stuck, literally.
YOU RULE!!
I’m okay, and you’re okay and that’s all I need to be happy.
I also congratulate my wonderful son Dominic on his Masters degree and look forward to seeing him after his trip to India. He really is great and I’m very proud of him. He has also been patient with me as I’ve been so limited so long.

I can only say to watch my smoke as I catch up to life that I missed while suffering from the problem I was saddled with. I will share more where it is needed, with other patients that have the problem I had.
Next it’s time to make art and make happenings as that is what I do best and I only hope to keep up on my computer as I am a doing person and not so much a computer person. Still I owe people on this computer for sticking by me and I’ll stick by them as I go forward with new energy and an new body.

Thank you again, everyone, who was patient and gave me worth when I had to fight to feel it myself!

Talk soon!
Annalisa

What happened to me was a life without insurance. I was literally dying and going undiagnosed because of lack of insurance.
Dancers and singers have little in the way of offering regarding insurance. If you had a pre-existing condition, forget about it and if you paid your own insurance fee, well, it would break you when you were not working. I paid my taxes, I did what I was supposed to do but when I went to doctos without insurance they took the easy route and told me that my pain was “stress related,” and more or less in my head.
I had already been dxed with PTSD and that was what doctors chose to blame my neck pain on. Never mind that it grew so bad over the course of my career that I would have begged for the guts go gather illegal pain medications. The pain slowly crippled me and finally took away my chance to dance and sing but where did I go? I went to doctors who told me it was stress and told me to get a shrink.
I got a shrink and I was told that because I had an abusive childhood it was manifesting in my neck and I had to work on myself to cure this awful crippling pain.
And so I did. I did 12 years of therapy that made me know myself so well I couldn’t stand myself after those years went by. I lived and breathed by my shrinks advice, sure it would cure the awful pain in my neck that was getting worse by the month and everytime I broke down after working and hit the E.R. they saw no insurance and put me out saying I should take Motrin in large quanities and seek help for my surely messed up brain. I became self destructive because none of the shrinks I saw could stop the pain no matter how hard I dug into my past, even being hypnotised at one time trying to stop the pain.
Finally I married a man who was career miliitary and low and behold, I had insurance! Not knowing this would help me I did not return to an E.R. and try again for the 10th time to find a reason for my pain, I kept going to a shrink who was telling me to work on my childhood to the point of it getting ridiculas!
Finally I fell and I fell badly. The disease in my neck was made so much more severe by my fall that I was actually dying. I had injured my cord and my neck nerves and a vertebre that was already killing me slowly was now killing me quickly. I had to go back to an E.R.
Finally and too late for me I was given an MRI on my neck after going through Physical Therapy and a CAT scan, etc…
The MRI revealed that I needed surgery to save my life and my condition was critical. Finally my disease in my neck was at a point that it could not be ignored. My pain was the stuff of legend. I put my neck on an operating table and let them cut my throat a total of four times to repair me and save my life. Little did I know that the pain I had alll those years had been putting my life in danger. My cord had been in danger and up high enough to kill me if I cut it. I was close to cutting it and living anyway, calling it mental!
My surgeon was the best because it was a time of war and the insurance the military provides does not decline a procedure in times of war. A well known surgeon stepped up and opened me up.
He told me that he was soon enough in my disease to save my life but he couldn’t save me from the pain I would have all my life from all that nerve damage and cord damage that I had incurred due to lack of a dx and lack of care.
I wasn’t crazy after all.

People need insurance. How? I don’t know, buy why? This is why.

I am now a self aware pain patient that is doomed to pain all of my life due to lack of insurance.
My insurance now pays for my high medicine costs and my constant physician monitering which I cannot escape because I am a pain patient.
My only question is this:
When they come up with a cure for Chronic Pain and can fix my spine, will my insurance cover it?
Will it?
I am, as you can imagine, desparate to know.

But of one thing I am sure thanks to years of mental spring boarding:

I know who I am.

Annalisa on insurance

I’m still here, spring for Spring and dealing with pain as is my job, aside from other jobs! My pain levels have been a bit less with me doing more dance and less work at the hospital. The hospital where I’ve made some great friends but fries my muscles that aren’t there anymore is a place I will not give up but that I’ve needed a break from. I’ll return tomorrow but have cut back a day so I can work on dance which I sorely miss and which is my first calling.
I’ve had those days in which I’ve been sick with pain but I have to confess they are not at all like the days after being in the E.R. for so long and using the very muscles I’m not supposed to have or to use. I have permanently damaged my arm and neck muscles as I’ve written before and there is no coming back from it unless stem cells start to work and become available for someone like me. I’ve bonded with some women who are in Chronic Pain and those women I cherish because we share something that you have to live to understand. The side effects of my medication have become really irritating and that can’t be helped either. My friends in pain have everything from migraines that make them want to cut their head off to, perhaps, MS, and it’s sad that we have no alternative.

But now for Spring! As some may know I love clothing and fashion and have had a long career in the feild. I’m looking forward to changing up my look this spring and I do this on occasion to spruce up my life and my look! I cheer for clothes and I pull away from ugly clothes! Clothing is in my blood and I’m never going to stop loving fashion any more than I’m going to stop loving dance. I’m slowly trying to build a jewelry collection with my friend Meredith of Meredithbead and it’s looking fine each time she makes me a piece. She’s working on a blue necklace, (I think,) and because each necklace is a “one off,” I love working with her and her oversized talent. If you’ve questions about Meredith and her one of a kind pieces you can email me at AM_Panizzon@msn.com. I can hook you up with Meredith and she can work wonders for you.
I’m loving a loose look for spring and that can look great on a semi-tall, thin woman like myself and feel even better! I wish I knew someone who could make clothes for me because I’d pay them a pretty penny to copy some great designs out there. When I see something in clothing that I love I can’t get it out of my mind until I have it and that, my friends, is a true fashion lover!
As to Oscar fashion, I liked Sarah Jessica Parker’s Couture Chanel gown the best and I’ll admit she pulled it off with great grace! I was a bit bored by the Oscars but loved that dress and a few others. There were some accidents that night too! What did you like? I’m also a movie buff so that Oscar party is something I look forward to each year and am disappointed with each year as well! Still the clothing was better than recent years and some risks were taken, (Yea!)

So now I’m sporting an ear infection that is making me a bit dizzy and off kilter but I’m sure I’ll beat this as usual. I’m not a healthy person by construction but let’s not forget those years as a high functioning dancer and singer despite my fragile body. It’s more of an accident-prone body I woiuld say!
I just had my birthday and I had a great time. P. was more than generous as usual and I had two friends take me to lunch which was a surprise. That would be Debbie and Chris who are becoming better friends as time goes by! I enjoyed their company and I always do. One more yearr and I feel better about this age than I did the last!

And so I have had about a month of pain that is not bad enough to make me cry and for that I am thankful although at times it was strong enough to make it hard for me to talk on the phone. I’m still writing on my sister’s blog, ElsaElsa.com and enjoying it as the readers make it worthwhile as does my sister. She is newly married and about to launch her honeymoon and I wish her a great trip with much success with her new relatives. Marrying into a family is not easy as we all know but my sister has it under control as well as anyone can!

I will try to post more in the coming weeks and I’m sorry I’ve been absent from the blog this long. I go in spurts! I post a lot and then get lost in life for a time. I plan on making my blog a priority in the future so I’ll see you all soon!

Thank you to my friends for making my birthday wonderful and love to my family who don’t let me down!

Annalisa

I’ve been asked where I am posting about fashion now and the answer is: On my sister’s blog, ElsaElsa.com, the astrology blog. After years of modelling and clothing wearing I have picked up tricks and I’m always scouting ideas still. I put them there on my sister’s site and most of them are in the form of Celebrity styles or styel tips. I will continue to write about fashion as often as I write about pain. Fashion and Style to me include what you wear on your back to what you put up in your home, what you put in your home and what lifestyle you have chosen. It all interests me and is interesting to many people. Anyway: That’s where I’m posting fashion things now and for the future as far as I can see. I’m happy there, my sister treats me well when I post there so all’s well in that area.

Pain-wise, I’m still irritated that eight hour pain medication like Oxycontin tend to last only six hours and then one finds themselves in a mess as the pills wear off. Yes, you do have “breakthrough,” medication, in my case, Oxycodone, but they are much less powerful than an “eight hour,” pill. I am considering taking the same amount I take in 24 hours but changing my dosing to every six hours, dividing my dose into four doses instead of three. This might work better for me and stop those all out pain marathons that can come from your large pain medication dose wearing off early. If you take these med’s I’d be interested in how long your long acting pain meds work for you. Do you use the patches? They are supposed to work for three days but it is widely known that they only work for two days. They are also hard to moniter because if your body heatsup the pain med is released faster and it can be used up sooner. You may or may not need the extra relief when it kicks in when you are warm but it does so and you may be out of pain med before the next patch. Keeping them on is also a hassle and I know one ballerina who has been injured that, like many others, has to use another adhesive to keep that patch on for the full two days. We need a better mouse trap, that’s for sure but a cure would be better. Support the American Pain Foundation for your friends in pain and join if you are a pain patient.

I got my hair cut by my friend and hairdresser, Debbie, into a cute “flip up,” version and I’m having loads of fun with it. I have a lot of hair so it makes it look thicker still and holds it’s style. I’m pleased. I never wear my hair too long or my face get’s lost there because I have small features and small bones. Try it, you may like it!

New Fashion is excellent at this time and with spring we will see all sorts of big flowery prints. It’s okay to wear these prints at every size, (I dont’ believe bigger people cannot dress well, it’s not about being skinny.” The idea is to choose the right SHAPE of what you wear with a big flowery print. If you are on the thin side you can wear flowers all over and pull it off but if you carry a bit of weight you might like to wear the new big flowers in the form of a top and wear pants of skirts of a solid color or like colors on the bottom. Wearing two prints at a time is a fun thing to do and all you have to have is the same color running through both the top and bottom of you ensemble. It’s a flowery spring coming up which ever waty you look at it. Flowery purses are a way to carry spring with you and there are some great purses out there to choose from.

Hair these days should not be “done,” “done,” perfectly and should hang a bit out of wack. That can be achieved by styling your hair and then taking some product and doing a “mess up,” job on it just enough to give you texture. I like this new natural look after all the straight, straight hair we have seen for years. The straightening irons can be put away or used far enough to fix your ends…. You want to have some naturalness coming from yur head in any case. Healthy hair is also a big thing for me and always opt for the process with yur hairdresser that does the least damage to your hair. If your haie is your crowning glory you have all sorts of natural ways to let it hang or pin it up loosely or tightly but leaving some texture for the eye to see.

Try a change in your fashion reality for spring and plan it now. Now is not the time to buy anymore winter clothing no matter how seductive those low prices are. The optimum time for buying has passed and if you live in any kind of a city the sping cross over clothing is on the racks already! The seasons in fashion seem to get closer and closer together. Global warming? All I’m saying is that there is less use for a heavy coat for so many months amymore.

So I’m sort of peachy and waiting to see if Ican find another formula for pain. I’m enjoying my family and friends and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that when it comes to me.

Again, if you are looking for my fashion stuff, search my name on the site ElsaElsa.com and you will find my writing there at this time. I was at BWS and anther site but have changed my outlet for this sort of writing.

Lastly, to my web host and friend, I’m proud of you for your new found charity work and I’m not surprised that you have decided now is the time. You are gifted, S., and I’m SO happy for you!

To may friend M, I’m awaiting your tests regarding your pain by holding my breath. I hate to see pain on anyone and you are so sweet, you don’t deserve it. Of course no one deserves the kind of pain we are taling about but some, like M. give somuch of themselves they REALLY should be treated perfectly by the medical establishment. Damn it! You knwo how I feel about the medical community, although they are not all bad,, certainly.

Get well, Howard, I miss you, Cassie, and on and on for this woman in the world.

Annalisa

I’m hoping all my friends had a happy holiday and I did because I got to see my son and have some fun with friends as well. A few parties, a dinner and Dominic is a great recipe for happiness when it comes to me.
My pain was a bit out of control when last I posted and I had to handle that by raising my pain meds with my doctor. It is not that I am doing worse regarding my disease, it is that I am doing more and in doing more I had to increase my pain meds to keep up with me.
It’s a trade off people with pain must make: Either do nothing and stay out of pain that way or take more meds and do more. I chose life. Side effects are few with my chosen pain reliever so I could choose life and not complicate things further for myself.
In the hospital where I work I meet people who have pain who often don’t take enough pain relief. Many times it is because they are taking Vicoden or Percocet and the side effects of such drugs are intense so they opt for doing much less so they can cut their pain relief medication. The problem is their chosen pain med. Or it could be the doctor is not treating their pain properly.
There are pain medications other than those named above that do not contain aspirin products and therefore do not cause complications. Oxycodone and Oxycontin are a couple. There is also Morphine and Methadone. One wants to take a pain reliever that does not have anything in it but the drug that relieves pain and one wants no aspirin products mixed in with the pain reliever. This is important if one is going to take pain medication to manage their life in a healthy manner.
But there are all sorts of warnings out there about people abusing these pain relievers that put off patients and cause them to say “no,” to any relief at all. This to me is not acceptable. Pain has many problems when it comes to damaging your health all on it’s own. Pain can cause complications with your health you do not need. Everything can happen from high blood pressure to teeth grinding. There are a myraid of problems that come from ignoring one’s pain and carrying on. Depression comes to mind.
Get information and get medicated if you suffer from Chronic Pain. It can change your life and let you live it more productively to treat your pain no matter what you have read when it comes to addiction. Medical addiction is a whole different thing from being a drug addict! If I choose to lower my pain medication I can do so in a controled manner, myself, and with no side effects that are horrid. One just needs information. Please post me if you have any comments or questions regarding this.
And so I had some great times with my new found relief. I tried a restaurant, “Maynards,” that was great with two good friends, Debbie and Chris. I had a great salad and Debbie had a pork chop that look excellent and she acted like she loved it as she told us! Deb is thin but Deb eats and that is how a person should live! Eating right and staying thin is an art but anyone can master it! We all had a good time.
Starr had a great party as she always does and P. ate as much as he always does because he loves the food that appears at these parties Starr has. Starr has a great house that reminds me of Mardi Gras so I am at home there like I’m not in many places. It was a fine time with hospital staff “destressing,” as was the theme of the party.
We had a great dinner at Melodies and Howards and learned that Melodie can cook wonderfully! Again, P. ate to his hearts content because Melodie is talented in areas other than sewing which she is super talented at! Melodie made me a quilt that I live under when I need some rest and it has become my magic quilt! I adore it and want another one but I’m afraid to ask Melodie to make me another! Melodie sews scrub tops for nurses at the hospital I work in and she does a great job on custom scrubs. Who wouldn’t want custom scrubs out of whatever fabric they choose? Melodie does not charge much and I am of the opinion that her work is worth more than she charges. Now is the time to take advantage of the prices she offers because Melodie’s talents can only improve and her prices should reflect that! Love to you, Melodie!
I posted that I was concentrating on growing my hair and this could come as a shock to those that know me because I have had short hair forever. I am growing it because it is simple to take care of when it has some length! One can air dry their hair when it is long and only use product for effect or a blowdryer or straightener when one wants to, again, for effect. I have lots of hair so this will be a great relief for me. In the meantime Debbie has been helping me by blowdrying it for me from time to time and for that she is a saint! Such a good friend Debbie has proven to be.
My next step is to return to dance in a bigger way and this is a warning because I am determined to do this. I have “rehabbed,” myself by working at the hospital E.R. and I’m ready to take the next step to getting myself back! Plies abound!
The last thing I want to say is that I appreciate all those who have been supportive lately in my return to life and to living it out in the open! I have some great friends who have been there when I am ready to “go and do,” and for that I am very grateful.
(In a future post I will show a photo of the fantastic necklace made by my friend Meredith! It’s made with my birth stone and I love it! Meredithbead is the name on much of her work.)
I’ll be seeing you on my flipside!
Peace out!
Annalisa

There is a level of pain that a person can reach that I refer to as “animal pain.” This is no insult to animals, which I love.
I reach this level of pain rarely but I do and it is usually caused by doing something with the injured part of my body that it just can’t do because my injury is permenent and cannot heal. I have limitations and if I continue to attempt to go past those limitations I’m in for “animal pain.”

I call it Animal Pain because I feel like an animal. I cannot express as a person because it hurts too badly. I can only think in terms of relieving the pain, or feel the most basic of feelings, for example: hunger, needing to use a restroom, anger, sadness, fear, etc…

This pain has only one cure and that is to stop it and stop it as fast as one can. You cannot use a phone, communicate with your closest intimates, or think beyond the pain. You can only think in those very basic feelings and needs and you can hardly express those feelings you can feel. This means you go for the very fastest method of pain relief possible, whatever that is for you.
For me, it is applied wet heat, medication in two or three forms…a muscle relaxer, a pain medication and an anti-inflamatory. The only immediate relief is the wet heat, of course and that only lasts as long as your cloth stays hot. The medication must work and it must work soon or I might get the idea of chewing my arm off or worse. It is hard in the beginning of having Chronic Pain not to want to go for the ultimate, the ending of pain forever, for one is so overcome by pain that there is no expressing what you are feeling and it is new to you. You simply cannot believe something can hurt so badly that it can cause your human condition to be what it is at that time. You learn patience and you learn it as soon as possible if you are smart. Chronic Pain is not for the weak hearted and not for those of little faith. Chronic Pain is not for wusses. Chronic Pain adds personality traits or brings them out of a person and leaves them there for the rest of their life. Compassion is one. If you suffer from Chronic Pain you have compassion for your fellow warriors against it.
When someone tells you they are in pain you can’t help but wonder if they mean THAT kind of pain that you are capable of feeling. You know the signs and you can read them easily in another person. If indeed they DO suffer as you do with this sort of pain you feel a kinship and would do whatever you could inside of the law to help that person find control for their pain.
I’ve found that if you don’t suffer from the above described sort of pain you have no reference point to help you understand.
This leads me to the conclusion that causes me to write about my pain: More health professionals need to understand Chronic Pain and treat it with compassion. More health care workers need to idenify that sort of pain and treat it immediately without restraint. More people with Chronic Pain need to speak up about it and to loose the fear of being ostracized from society and shunned by their friends.
We need more information out there about Chronic Pain so I share mine with everyone with that in mind.
I have friends who suffer my sort of pain but not very many. To these people I say “I’m sorry,” and I say that with the very basic emotion of being sorry without reservation. I hope you have help and I hope you continue to get help the rest of your life until they find a cure for our particular disease.
Yes, disease. Chronic Pain is it’s own disease and can cause all sorts of complications which I mention often in this blog.
My newest complication is the problem of curling my shoulders in pain when I don’t treat it in time and thereby wrecking my dancers posture. I’m fighting it now that my doctor has pointed it out to me. I must stand and sit up straight and not let the pain win and wreck my skeleton. I’m working on this often at this time.
At this time I am cleared of “animal pain,” and can go on with my life and I damned sure am going to do so sitting up straight! I will not let a lifetime of work and training go down the drain because of a thing like Chronic Pain and neither should you! We should all work to carry on with our lives and never buckle to the threat of Chronic Pain, we owe it to ourselves and we can set and example.
Never must we stand up to the pain without the pain being relieved though. We are not super human and we should not demand that of our bodies, it can only hurt us further.

To all out there with Chronic Pain, I’m sorry and keep up the good fight and to those whose loved ones suffer from pain, I beg you to read posts like mine and try very hard to understand, you can be so much help to those who suffer.

You can now post comments.

Annalisa

My experiment with having more life by taking enough pain medication is working fairly well. I had two raises in medication to accompany my new life and thus far it is working but not up to the standards I think my doctor would like to see.
My choice was to have no life and lie around most of the time or have a life and take more medication. I need medication to live, but the amount can vary and that makes a BIG difference. SO, in order for me to work at the hospital and see my friends, not to mention go shopping and such, I needed a big raise which I took on. This works pretty well but when I had a FULL life, I was on much more medication.
Let’s look at it this way: I was delighted to get an invite to two friends homes for Thanksgiving. Since my son is not home for this holiday, we had no plans and we could make it to dinner at D’s and still work at the hospital as we had promised. D. had a heating pad waiting for me on her sofa away from everyone when I got there! THAT ladies and gentlemen is a friend! I didn’t need it until later but I certainly got in “that condition,” where I needed a break and relief and needed to let a pain killer work as fast as it could. The heating pad, although making me feel like I was a gimp, helped me tremendously and I am forever in her debt for thinking of me in that way. I never even mentioned it! I do use a heating pad at home but she didn’t know this.
So, I went out but I did need “special consideration,” while there. The dinner was great but I and P. were surrounded by a family that we don’t know so we were on our best behaviour and taking notes all the while! They were all gracious, save one that decided to ignore the entire group so we didn’t feel singled out, bless his heart. These people can cook, I mean they cook pork in banana leaves so i knew their turkeywould please and it did. We had a good time and a great meal. I love dinner there, it’s so artful!
I am able to go shopping and try clothing on and not have to lie down the entire next day so that is another plus for the new pain dose. You know those conditions that cause you such pain that if you put out any energy you have to lie down the next day? Well, I have one unless I have those meds.
A friend has invited me to dinner this month and I’m happy my dose was raised at my last doctors appnt. so I can enjoy the company that I know I like.
Comments:
comments can now be left on my blog or so I am told by my genius Web Host. He has returned from his trip from Inidia and fixed my comments but I’m told I may not be protected from “spam.” God help me if I am not and I may just reject the comment idea all together if I get spammed like crazy. Still, it will be nice to hear from some friends if they have something to say. I welcome other pain patients as well to share their stories and how they are doing.
We’ll see how this all goes over.
Finally, I am still enjoying Gossip Girl and enjoy the rating by Gawker.com to keep me posted. I’m still enmeshed in the music and I have to do plies to help my posture or so says my doctor. Dr. Cox is great to me so I will behave.
She says the curves start in your back when you are curled in pain and then they become permanent. She told me my posture was so good that I must watch it since I had my pain meds so low. So, it’s plie ville now.
Oh, and for some god awful reason I joined facebook when most my friends don’t bother with it. Don’t ask…
Happy holidays to everyone and I hope your Thanksgiving was eventful!
Annalisa